First Marathon; San Fransisco Fall 2005; Time: 4:46
This is my first blog entry (and a long one- as I tend get carried away with novels). This subject something very important to me, and on my mind a lot. I don't know if you'd call it running, or just being athletically fit, but ever since completing my first marathon, I feel like something in my life is missing. All last year in college- with classes, 2 jobs, and a great social life, I still managed to get a decent workout in. The last semester I was logging in 100 miles a month. Then I had the half marathon mishap- walking pneumonia is a bitch- and it took me 2 months to recover. – No running for a long time. I thought I was going to go insane, since I had a month off before starting my new job, I took hour + walks, but it wasn't the same. I decided I had an addiction- it was called running. When I finally started running again, I got back on track like no other to complete my goal- a marathon in October, the one I had set my mind on back in April while training for the half marathon and even if I was a month late into the training, I was going to do it.
I found a wonderful training group, very competitive. Over the summer I shaved some time off of my runs but didn't really increase my weekly mileage that much from the spring half-marathon training, instead I took 3 days off and had longer runs. I remember running a 9.5 mile run in 81 minutes with 2 Gatorade stops in that time. It was a great thing for me as the longer my runs get, the slower I usually get. I loved the feeling after a 16 mile run- how your whole body, while so tired, feels refreshed at the same time. Everyone I ran with shared the same joys of running. I decided it wasn't an addiction, it's just a challenge to be completed. I became what my friends called a "bore" on Friday nights- not going out as I was running by 6am. It stressed me out like no other, I would worry about a long run the whole week before, I would push myself on the short runs to justify a slower long run on the weekends. I remember first meeting everyone in the Real Estate Analyst program, and wanting to go out and have fun with them, which I did. The run the weekend after was horrible. I realized I couldn't drink all week long and run a long run on the weekend. It didn't get easier as I always seemed to be out of town the whole week before a long run. Traveling and me staying healthy didn't seem to go together. I also got crabby with friends (sorry Jessica). In some ways, I wanted it all to be over, I felt like I lost my life. I definitely wasn't addicted, I would get this marathon done and over with and move on with my life.
Then there was the run itself, I was scared, Melissa, Tiffany and Jess all had logged in 50+ miles a week. It wasn't any of their first marathons, and they trained with hills, whereas the most I had run in training was a 20 mile run, and you have to search long and hard for any hills in Chicago. The first 5 miles were a breeze, one hill that seemed kind of big but I let it kiss my ass. Then mile 7…turn that corner and oh Lord- It wasn't a hill...it was a MOUNTAIN! I smiled for the camera part way up but that smile faded quikly after. That sucker was a full mile up up up 250ft. After that it was flat a bit- and up more. Since Mel Tif and Jess were all trying to beat personal bests- we weren't together. I tried making friends on the run, but I didn't find anyone that I was able to push and them push me back. By mile 10 I lost my mental game. We split from the half marathoners and I just wished I could be one of them and only have 3 miles left…but I had 16.2. I decided, I would walk every hill from here on out….there were lots- some I ended up running. The cramps in the legs had already hit me at mile 14- usually they didn't until mile 17. It was no longer running, it was counting. I'd count- 100 steps on the right foot, then 100 on the left. San Fransisco was foggy, not as beautiful as I imagined. By mile 23 they had chocolate…I love chocolate but at that moment the thought of eating it made me want to puke. I felt like I hated every moment, I kept saying NEVER AGAIN. Addicts don't hate themselves for getting involved in their addiction.
Then 26 miles down- .2 to go…. .1 …the finish line- as I crossed that finish line and started walking forward to receive my medal (My Tiffany's necklace) Tears started to form. I was so happy, so ecstatic... and so ready to get back to training for my next marathon. ..[if !supportEmptyParas]-->That wouldn't be an addiction, that would be challenging yourself; Since I walked hills, I didn't get my goal time. ...aftermath- not able to move without the help of my arms to get up and down. And then the horrible shin splints. I was able to get in a 4 mile run a week later, and a 7 mile 2 weeks later. Then I started to slow down more with those horrible shin splints. There wasn't anything to work towards so a 2 mile run was good enough. An addict would think otherwise right? ...these runs make me feel horrible, it's not cutting it. I miss the goal to push myself toward. Last week I logged a whole 10 miles …the cardio machines have been more appealing lately while reading a book.
I've slowed down, slower than ever before. Even my shorter 4-5 mile runs are at a 9-minute mile. I look at that and feel horrible, I haven't become the party girl I was back in college because I have a job. I don't drink 3+ nights a week nor does it appeal to me anymore. I realized even with the slowdown in social life, the stress and the pain, I was happiest while training. I want the pain back where I can feel every step I take in my legs because they have been worked to the max. Where even laying in bed can be painful. I want to feel weak after a long run on a Saturday where deep down it's a feeling of being refreshed (even if it's not the sun I'm surrendering myself to over the winter months)..
I want to get back into running, but I need something to aim for and need to figure out what that is. I said I would run the Chicago Marathon in October and train with the group I trained with for the first one, but that's too far away- I need something NOW. I've started logging my miles once again, and will be upping my mileage, fufilling my need.
I can't help my addiction- it's an addiction- it's like I can't control myself. I've gotta do it. Some people have addictions of smoking, eating, drinking. I have an addiction to running.
This is my first blog entry (and a long one- as I tend get carried away with novels). This subject something very important to me, and on my mind a lot. I don't know if you'd call it running, or just being athletically fit, but ever since completing my first marathon, I feel like something in my life is missing. All last year in college- with classes, 2 jobs, and a great social life, I still managed to get a decent workout in. The last semester I was logging in 100 miles a month. Then I had the half marathon mishap- walking pneumonia is a bitch- and it took me 2 months to recover. – No running for a long time. I thought I was going to go insane, since I had a month off before starting my new job, I took hour + walks, but it wasn't the same. I decided I had an addiction- it was called running. When I finally started running again, I got back on track like no other to complete my goal- a marathon in October, the one I had set my mind on back in April while training for the half marathon and even if I was a month late into the training, I was going to do it.
I found a wonderful training group, very competitive. Over the summer I shaved some time off of my runs but didn't really increase my weekly mileage that much from the spring half-marathon training, instead I took 3 days off and had longer runs. I remember running a 9.5 mile run in 81 minutes with 2 Gatorade stops in that time. It was a great thing for me as the longer my runs get, the slower I usually get. I loved the feeling after a 16 mile run- how your whole body, while so tired, feels refreshed at the same time. Everyone I ran with shared the same joys of running. I decided it wasn't an addiction, it's just a challenge to be completed. I became what my friends called a "bore" on Friday nights- not going out as I was running by 6am. It stressed me out like no other, I would worry about a long run the whole week before, I would push myself on the short runs to justify a slower long run on the weekends. I remember first meeting everyone in the Real Estate Analyst program, and wanting to go out and have fun with them, which I did. The run the weekend after was horrible. I realized I couldn't drink all week long and run a long run on the weekend. It didn't get easier as I always seemed to be out of town the whole week before a long run. Traveling and me staying healthy didn't seem to go together. I also got crabby with friends (sorry Jessica). In some ways, I wanted it all to be over, I felt like I lost my life. I definitely wasn't addicted, I would get this marathon done and over with and move on with my life.
Then there was the run itself, I was scared, Melissa, Tiffany and Jess all had logged in 50+ miles a week. It wasn't any of their first marathons, and they trained with hills, whereas the most I had run in training was a 20 mile run, and you have to search long and hard for any hills in Chicago. The first 5 miles were a breeze, one hill that seemed kind of big but I let it kiss my ass. Then mile 7…turn that corner and oh Lord- It wasn't a hill...it was a MOUNTAIN! I smiled for the camera part way up but that smile faded quikly after. That sucker was a full mile up up up 250ft. After that it was flat a bit- and up more. Since Mel Tif and Jess were all trying to beat personal bests- we weren't together. I tried making friends on the run, but I didn't find anyone that I was able to push and them push me back. By mile 10 I lost my mental game. We split from the half marathoners and I just wished I could be one of them and only have 3 miles left…but I had 16.2. I decided, I would walk every hill from here on out….there were lots- some I ended up running. The cramps in the legs had already hit me at mile 14- usually they didn't until mile 17. It was no longer running, it was counting. I'd count- 100 steps on the right foot, then 100 on the left. San Fransisco was foggy, not as beautiful as I imagined. By mile 23 they had chocolate…I love chocolate but at that moment the thought of eating it made me want to puke. I felt like I hated every moment, I kept saying NEVER AGAIN. Addicts don't hate themselves for getting involved in their addiction.
Then 26 miles down- .2 to go…. .1 …the finish line- as I crossed that finish line and started walking forward to receive my medal (My Tiffany's necklace) Tears started to form. I was so happy, so ecstatic... and so ready to get back to training for my next marathon. ..[if !supportEmptyParas]-->That wouldn't be an addiction, that would be challenging yourself; Since I walked hills, I didn't get my goal time. ...aftermath- not able to move without the help of my arms to get up and down. And then the horrible shin splints. I was able to get in a 4 mile run a week later, and a 7 mile 2 weeks later. Then I started to slow down more with those horrible shin splints. There wasn't anything to work towards so a 2 mile run was good enough. An addict would think otherwise right? ...these runs make me feel horrible, it's not cutting it. I miss the goal to push myself toward. Last week I logged a whole 10 miles …the cardio machines have been more appealing lately while reading a book.
I've slowed down, slower than ever before. Even my shorter 4-5 mile runs are at a 9-minute mile. I look at that and feel horrible, I haven't become the party girl I was back in college because I have a job. I don't drink 3+ nights a week nor does it appeal to me anymore. I realized even with the slowdown in social life, the stress and the pain, I was happiest while training. I want the pain back where I can feel every step I take in my legs because they have been worked to the max. Where even laying in bed can be painful. I want to feel weak after a long run on a Saturday where deep down it's a feeling of being refreshed (even if it's not the sun I'm surrendering myself to over the winter months)..
I want to get back into running, but I need something to aim for and need to figure out what that is. I said I would run the Chicago Marathon in October and train with the group I trained with for the first one, but that's too far away- I need something NOW. I've started logging my miles once again, and will be upping my mileage, fufilling my need.
I can't help my addiction- it's an addiction- it's like I can't control myself. I've gotta do it. Some people have addictions of smoking, eating, drinking. I have an addiction to running.
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