Mind over Matter
State #35 Nebraska Marathon
Time: 4:07:09
I’m going to approach this race write up the way I approached the race: I had a lot of negative factors some that really upset me, but I promised myself, and I pretty much kept to that promise- at the start of the clock- nothing negative mattered, it was just about working through it and finding the positive. So, while I didn’t get the time I wanted for another marathon in a row, I had the attitude to be content when I crossed the finish line.
Okay Negative out of the way then we will jump into trainingand keep it positive.
And now we leave negativity behind and focus on the Journey and all the positive.
Training was a little different this summer with planning a wedding and the loss of my Grandma. After my May marathon, I didn’t get many miles in for the first month as there were wedding planning events and trips. The Thursday before my Grandma got sick, I took a half day of work to go on a 70 bike ride with Kristen and Kylie so at least there was that. But- My Grandma got sick and passed in one month from when she originally showed signs of being sick. And now because when I write about this subject- I become paralyzed and I start to replay different moments in my mind that my fingers start typing- to not forget them and then rant. I’m about to digress- though it does play a role in why my training was so scattered and non-existent for a while. When it comes to anything that deals with my Grandma’s death, I can’t seem to get to point D without making it through A B and C first.
My healthy Grandma….June 4th we were between her house and ours playing musical TVs to get her a working TV that fits in her living room- we finally get that taken care of and she tells us she already ate while we were driving back and forth but she wanted to spend time with us and she insisted she take us out to my, Joe and her place- the Outback Steakhouse. Even though we told her awhile back we wanted to take us out- she insisted this time she pay- and promised we could pay next time. She didn’t hear the size of the Beer Joe ordered and she just said “I’ll have what he is having” as we waited for our table at the Bar. It was so funny to see this HUGE beer in front of her, that she could barely lift and she maybe drank half of. She seemed so fine and even when she makes comments like “if I make it to your wedding” I would tell her she was healthy so that’s silly talk. She ate her entire meal and loved it. We dropped her off at her home, went to Sports Authority where I bought her a new thera-band because she said she needed a new one so I called her and told her I would get it to her when I see her for my Aunt and Uncle’s surprise anniversary Party June 18th.
Between June 4th and June 18th I had my California Bachelorette party, which included a bike ride and an easy run, but I made training revolve around things like this so the long runs would come later in June/July.
June 18th I think I ran before my hair appointment, but that’s when my mom texted me that Grandma fell and dad had to break into her house to find her on the ground. She said she was fine, just weak though at this point she didn’t go to my Aunt and Uncles Party- I asked her if she wanted me to come over and she said she was fine. I wish I would have.
I’m so thankful for the men in my life. Thankful for my husband, who was so patient with my grandma and the TV debacle earlier that month. For changing our plans to spend that night with her. For my dad, for picking Grandma up to spend Father’s day with us. From here my grandma wasn’t eating, I suggested Ensure, and my mom got her some, but that lead to her throwing it up which lead to her going to the ER. My grandma isn’t sick- she doesn’t go to hospitals this isn’t normal. So I planned a work trip/site visit in Kenosha so I could spend my lunch with her the Thursday after her fall. Since admitted to the hospital my mom would go to the hospital from 1:00 to dinner time, so I knew Grandma was alone before then. So I went over about 11:30. I sat with her when she told me “I think the doctor told me I have cancer” Those words, how she choked them out, how she was trying to be brave for her granddaughter- how I tried to be brave for her but I started to cry then she started to cry, how I told her I Loved her and I prayed she really knew how much I did- I will never forget that moment.
It still took until the following Tuesday for us to confirm where the cancer was and what it was, though in that moment all tests were stopped to allow her to get well enough to take her home. We knew enough- it was late stages of ovarian cancer and the Doctor told us she likely had 2-4 months to live. After over a week in the hospital we took her home. My aunt took leave of work to live with her and we had in home hospice care. It brought our two families together- something that didn’t happen too often (likely not since my uncle and I ran the Minnesota Marathon) but we all had one thing in common- our Love for our Grandma/Mom.
Training just got lost in the blur of this month. I couldn’t run long, I needed to be with my Grandma. Even before we got the 2-4 months diagnosis while she was in the hospital and I was at her house- helping clean a little bit for her to come home to a clean house and no trace of the throw up that happened. I needed to get a run in but I couldn’t. I couldn’t leave the house- when I finally did it was hot and I just ran walked and cut it short because I needed to be with her- I needed to make her cards with the kids to take to the hospital to cheer her up. Running didn’t matter.
A week after we got the 2-4 months diagnosis her timeframe got gut to 2-4 weeks. 16 days from when she was taken home, she passed July 17th at 4:45am. In that month, I think I ran at most 6 miles. But my heart was hurting so much there wasn’t a run that didn’t include walking. My endurance though, was able to shine through how long I could sit and comb her hair/massage her legs- a full hour could pass doing that. My endurance just was put to use in other ways but that time would pass and I would just want more time.
After July 17th, I still wasn’t running too much. I needed to get back into it. So finally July 29th- I made the time- I time to run a whole 10 miles! Yeah- that’s it- just needed to start somewhere and that was it. It was a lunch run and it was hot but it was an 8:37 average. I had to run fast because that’s a long work lunch run so I needed to get back into the office.
Did I mention I was getting married/planning a wedding? So now we have the near wedding festivities to plan these long runs around. September 10th was our amazing wedding day. I managed to find 3 weekends in a row I could build the endurance back up before the wedding. 16, 18 and 20 mile runs.
The 16 miler was the longest I got in since my May 8thMarathon- completed on August 7th- so 3 months later- that’s a long time for me to go that long without a 16 miler! I ran it with Kristen, who motivated me as she biked 112 miles the day before. We completed it at 8:47/mile average and I’ll take it. The 18 miler wasn’t as great- walking was included and it was a struggle- but I felt accomplished for still doing all 18! And the 20 miler I’m not remembering how that one went. I remember feeling like I was ready for a step back week but that’s about it.
Then I had two step back weeks- with a shorter run on my Birthday weekend and a 10 miler the Thursday of the weekend I got married. So…not your typical training schedule. I decided on Nebraska the week before the wedding. I hadn’t picked a state yet and knew I needed a fall state. This one was in driving distance, it didn’t interfere with the potential cubs in World Series (though still an awesome series game that Saturday night) and was enough time for me to squeeze in one more 16, 18, 20with a one week taper.
My Taper was the Chicago Marathon. 12 miles where I was inspired. Running 4 with Kristen who PR/qualified for Boston; 4 with Cheryl, who was in from San Fran- so awesome to see her! And who PRed; and 4 with Erin, who was running her first marathon post Baby and all smiles and happy even though it wasn’t a PR- she had a “proud to be a mommy” glow. I was so inspired I hoped maybe I could pull the same off. I told myself when I got sick, it would force fluids and rest which is a good thing.
Saturday morning Joe and I woke up super early to drive to Nebraska. The packet Pickup closed at 3:00pm so that was our goal- be there just before 3. Packet Pickup was super small- maybe even the smallest I have been to that wasn’t a trail or ultra race. Sometimes you get excited to buy some gu or anything at packet pickup- at least look at what they had, but there was none of that. So we went on our merry way to the hotel. We walked to a local grocer to pickup food and stuff. As we walked, we discovered downtown Omaha. It’s actually really cute and you can see it’s a growing community. It’s not like Milwaukee that has a lot of history/ old buildings. But it seems like an up and coming on the edge city for being in the middle of nowhere.
For the evening we went to this cool Sport Bar to watch the Cubs as well as the Badgers. I think the place was called DJ’s. Our server was awesome, they have a million TVs everywhere- like better than any other sports bar I have ever been to. I think they had at least 3 sections with different sound for the games so you could sit in the area where your number one team you wanted to watch was and then watch the other games. Around 9:30 Joe walked me back to the hotel and I went to bed (he went on to watch the Cubbies win).
In the morning I woke up and it was usual race prep- I was trying a few new things- even with training, I switched shorts. Which I love, but they have no pockets, they are cheap shorts actually, so now I need to find some nicer ones just like it with pockets! I got a race belt for my phone/music which I tested out the week before and liked. I wanted to keep what was on me to a minimum so I decided I would just trust and deal with the water stations only- not bring my own water/electrolytes.
Joe woke up to hug me good luck- he was going to run with me on the earlier end of the race- because it was right by the hotel, and the second half was over the bridge in Iowa and it took too much coordination to bother with that. I was just thankful to have him for a few miles – whenever that may be.
So I walk to the start. It was super foggy and eerie but seemed like a decent day. Maybe a little warm and the fog brought some humidity, but not horrible. I get to the start, did a bag drop (which really only had a long sleeved shirt to put on after), and stood in line for the porta potties. Now at the packet pickup, they did have some shirts, but they all read “run local” and in line for the porta-potty was when it was very noticeable this was a race where almost everyone knew everyone. There were a decent amount of runners but they were all grouped together in their running groups. I go to line up for the race as it is to start in 5 minutes- I see a girl who was alone and decided I needed to get back into going to a race and making friends- not just be focused on the race. She was running the half, her first half and eventually I met the group of people she was there running with. They were all real nice. But that’s also when I learned of the first delay. Skipping negativity- bullet points above point out race didn’t start on time. …but it started. Once it started it was a very fun downhill.
I went back and forth on how to tackle this race. Do start off slow or do I push and hope I don’t crash and burn? Downhillshurt me a lot- and I still haven’t figured them out. If you let your body just go- it’s a little more pounding on the legs, if you hold back and control, you are working your muscles more. I decided to go the relaxed but pounding route. I was clipping on the downhills a sub 8 but I just figured I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t when it comes to downhill so – get some speed. 2.5 miles in I found my husband and he jumped right in with me before we hit our first uphill. We clocked 8:30-9:00s the whole time together. I told him some of the start, which part of the delay was the Porta-Potties at the finish- someone set them on fire- and they had to be replaced.
I was feeling good with him the whole time, but since they only had water, no electrolytes he was hoping to jump out grab me an electrolyte drink and get it to me while I had my 2 mile out and back from mile 6.5-8. The moment he left me is when I started to get the vision migraine- which is just seeing spots. I luckily packed some electrolyte pills- I reminded myself of how this has happened on a bike before- once I overcame it on the half ironman and once I didn’t and ran the Olympic distance 10K not letting the migraine fully hit until the finish. Either way- I have finished two races like that before so I kept positive and just started the Gus right then and there and electrolyte pills. By mile 10 the migraine was fully gone.
But then as we made our way over the bridge into Iowa, my legs were already sore. Always in the first half, you know what kind of race you are going to have. And I knew I was going to have to work hard for this one. I actually already walked up a little hill before we hit mile 13. A girl passed me. I could have become negative right here, but instead I decided I would catch up to her and talk with her. This was her first marathon, she lived in the area, was a nurse. She wanted to get sub 4 hours (which I’m sure she did), and she was playing real good music not on headphones so I could enjoy it too. We lasted just a little bit, back to an 8:30 pace when I decided I wanted to walk for a bit again – just a moment. I think part of this was because we weren’t syncing with our running and I felt like I was pushing to hold her ebs and flows- and I needed to be in my own rhythm. With that, I kept her in sight for the next few miles. I then hit what would be mile 20 when turned around. That made me happy! Still running with a walk on a hill. I started to get really hot, the sun was out and the water seemed so far and few in between. I made it to the turn around and started to make my way back. I like out and backs because it’s nice to see all the other people, it motivates you to keep on runnining to see others inspire ahead and behind you. Just before mile 20, someone put out a cooler with little ice cold bottles of water. Seriously- this thing was AMAZING- I grabbed and guzzled and that was just so wonderful. I think the race people knew they should have had a water station at the turn around and they spaced a little too far out there. So they then also had a lady in a UTV sort of thing handing out more bottles of water. So I took that as well. I’m glad they had the sense to realize it was hotter than probably what they expected, so they did what they had to do to keep people hydrated in an area without water stations.
Then there was my sock that had fallen off early on. The blister on my foot started to hurt and it was finally to a point I needed to take care of it. My legs were sore and I was walking every now and then to stretch them out. So when I stopped to take off my shoe- well the leg cramped and I wasn’t able to do this so well. We were out in a park area and I looked ahead and saw a bench with people sitting there. I figured I could just run there and then work on my sock. So, with my shoe laces already undone I ran there carefully and slowly. Once I made it there I sat down to work on my shoe when the cramps made this not be a quick stop, but a nice long stop to work out the cramp. This is where – how nice are Nebraskans? One girl right there totally volunteered to take off my shoe, fix my sock and tie my shoe, for me! How awesome! At this point, I needed to hold just under a 10minute mile to still finish at a sub 4 hour race. I thought- maybe that could still happen- but then we got to the point of counting steps, and they were more like 12 minute miles with walking- and 3 miles to go. I was very excited to hit the bridge and cross back into Nebraska because I remember seeing the 26 mile marker at the bottom of the bridge- which meant .2 from there. I stopped on the bridge to enjoy the scene as I tried to stretch out this cramp in my leg that wouldn’t go away. Then I ran down and made it to mile 26. And of course- at that moment- I cramped- OTHER leg…the kind that freezes you in your tracks. I’m just standing there trying to breathe it out. When a nice girl who was right there waiting for her friends to cheer- let me hang onto her to work out the cramp. What I’m proud of in this moment is I laughed- I was breathing it out- I wasn’t getting angry because I know I can have better races. I was able to live what I tell my yoga students throughout class which includes…
Every day is a new day, how you felt or what you did in class yesterday or last week, might not be what you do today…. Let how you feel today, set your intention for your practice (race), and let your intention guide you practice. … Falling is part of balance it’s not if you fall, but when you fall, how you react and get right back at it…We only want self-love and no judgement….just breathe.
And with that, the lady on the UTV was driving by, asked if I wanted a ride to the finish. I smiled and I thanked her – I said – it’s just a cramp the finish is .2miles away- I’ve got this! Luckily the finish was around the corner from where I was with a building blocking- so I just took a few more moments to let the cramp go away enough for me to run- and then I ran slowly but surely- to the finish line.
It wasn’t my best time, it wasn’t my worst time. But for whatever time, I had the right mental mindset keeping positive, which is where I hope to stay with the last 15 states ahead of me.
