Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Can't Be Scared when it goes down, almost there don't give up now

Heartland 100- Kansas
October 13th-14th
23 hours 48 minutes 09 seconds

Can't be scared when it goes down.. almost there don't give up now... the only thing that's on my mind is Who is going to run town tonight? 

My answer to the question of, would I ever do another?  Would be- It is Possible.

After peak training, my taper included a move across the country.  Once I got back so Wisconsin, I was non stop doing things to try to settle and figure out my next move on the career side of my life.    I got sick a week before the race and told myself to take it down a notch and rest.   While I planned to do that, I still had full days of running around getting stuff done on Tuesday and Wednesday.  I didn't have a voice, but I felt fine.  Then Thursday before the race, I woke up feeling horrible.  I rested between the couch and floor all day.  Why the floor?  Because every time I'd start sweating, I wanted to be off the couch and the floor was cooler.  I was between chills and sweats all day and had a fever.   I wasn't thirsty but I was forcing the fluids in.  I didn't care what I ate or how much so I tried to just keep eating to help give my body strength to fight off whatever it was I had.

Friday Morning I woke up, better than Thursday, but not 100%.   I made a decision to tell myself I was fine and just suck it up, as there wasn't any other way.  Luckily the fever was gone.  I think my tons of fluids plan worked ...good enough.



I knew my health wouldn't stop me from starting the race, but what I had no control over was the weather and whether or not it would be too severe and the race directors would cancel the race.  All week long the weather in Kansas called for severe storms and perfect conditions for tornadoes.   I had concerns that mother nature would lead to this race being cancelled, but all you could do is keep on track to getting to the race and just see what happens.

I had six drop bags.   These contained what I thought I would need along the way:  extra dry clothes, hats, gloves, food, powder for my drink.  They would be waiting for me at six different aid stations along the way, which I would see 11 times.   There were a total of 11 stops on the course, which since it was out and back, you would visit them 21 times.  Some of these were just coolers with water and no person, you just refill water and go.  Some had support with food, and coke/mountain dew/ginger ale/water.  And some of those with support also had crew access.   This breaks the run down so your focus can be aid station to aid station.  Jen made Tony and I bracelets with the mileage of every aid station- one of the best things to have on me at all times.

My parents joined as my crew, which I'm extremely thankful for.  So on top of the six drop bags, I also had a bag filled with dry clothes with them and a bag filled with other foods and espresso shots.

Before getting into the actual race, here are some more numbers:

113 people signed up for this race, however given the storm conditions, only 89 showed up to the start.  And of those 89 people, only 61 finished.   I guess 3 people dropped out early on as in those first 17 miles when we encountered our first storm.  

I consumed, approximately 20 Gus, 20 refills of a 20 oz bottle filled with either Ironman Perform, or Fizz, almost a full espresso shot, 1 shot block, a bunch of coke, a little bit of chicken noodle broth, small cup of hot chocolate, a bite of a banana, two bites of a potato, a few chips, 5 jolly ranchers, a bite of a twizzler, and an orange slice,  The reason for the bites or a few this or that..is because I'd try to eat it but just couldn't do it.  The Gus were what was key.  Luckily they are easy to eat- as in count one to three, swallow and you are done.  And the body absorbs the nutrients quickly.

So now, lets get to the race!



Saturday Morning, I woke up at 3:50am.  I made some breakfast (of instant mashed potatoes, chocolate milk, espresso shot and a banana), and got dressed.  I turned on the weather report to see, that so far, no storms were going to hit us, but likely conditions for tornadoes were from 2-4pm and we would likely see rain/showers throughout the day.  I put on body glide thick and everywhere, knowing though, if it rains, that would do me little good.  

Jen and I left the hotel at 4:45am to drive from El Dorado, to Cassody, where the race begins.  We dropped off our drop bags and met with Tony and his friend, Jeremy at the race start.   I was so glad to be doing this with Tony- we were both firsts, we kept motivating each other throughout training, and so we were both nervous but we weren't alone.  Jen is a hardcore ultra runner, so she knew the race director and all the people at this race, which can be intimidating for us first timers, so Tony and I stuck together.

The race started at 6am.   I decided I wanted to run with Tony for a bit at first to catch up on life.  At first it was a little bit of a tug of war kind of game.  He wanted his slow and steady pace and I wanted to run a little faster.   I knew I could go ahead, but wanted to run with him for a bit, so we settled into his pace.   The first water stop was unmanned at mile 4.6  and we refilled our bottles and went on our way.   We started to hit some hills, and would walk up them instead of using up muscles and energy we would need later.  Our next aid station was one with people (just no crew) at Mile 8.2.    I took a quick bathroom break and we went on our way.    Somewhere around mile 10, Tony and I had picked up another girl, but we also were done with catching up on our life stories.  So, I decided it was time to say goodbye.

I went on my way.  I was posting on facebook, but the reception where we were at wasn't that great.   The next water station was at mile 12.6 and was a very quick 'few second' stop.   The thunder and lightning and rain began somewhere between the time I left Tony and this stop.  I had my rain jacket and long sleeve shirt around my waist and decided it could stay there as the temps were warm and the rain felt nice.  The only issue is I had about 10 extra lbs on me.



As I was running, I met two amazing people: Scott and Liz.  I have said this before, but what I do is just average in the endurance world, and there are people that are just above and beyond.  Scott and Liz are two of those people and I'm so glad I got to met them!   The Heartland 100 race was Scott's 20th 100 miler for 2012, and Liz's 28th 100 miler for the year.   Scott sees and runs with a lot of first timers so anything he said or advice he gave, I knew I had to listen to it.  He told me, you can never let go of  your mental game, do not stop, at least keep moving forward, no matter how slow and the most important part he told me your pace isn't what should remain consistent throughout, it's your level of effort that should.   All his words and advice would revisit me in the last 15 miles.

I saw Jeremy at the 16.8 mile aid station, and Tony wasn't far behind me so we all chatted for a bit.  I also got rid of about 5 lbs of a wet long sleeved shirt, but it was still raining, so there was no point in getting rid of my jacket yet.  When i 'went on my way'  I actually just saw Tony and Jeremy go back to Jeremy's car- so at first-  I followed them that way when they stopped me- thank god!

So..on my way.  The next section included additional rolls.  I would take long at aid stations, and then find myself passing people after.  At one point I saw two guys in front of me that I slowly made my way up to - one of them was Scott! So, I said hello again, and the guy he was with, Mason, was also a first timer, and we learned we had similar Ironman times.  They chatted for a bit but I decided I wanted to go ahead so we said see you later and at about that same time we were at the 21.1 water cooler.  So there was a quick refill and I was on my way.

I was very excited for the next aid station, as this is where I would first see my parents.  My mom said she was so happy to see a smile on my face and in good spirits because the rain was miserable.  I found the thunder and lightning just a fun element to the whole day.  She informed me that back at the hotel (22 miles from the start so nearly 50 from where we were at), it was hailing and the storm conditions were worse. 



I decided since it was still raining, I wouldn't change and just go on my way and meet them again at mile 36.5.  I also swapped out my phone with my mom's so I could charge my phone.    I think I remember the trail to get rockier and a little hillier on the next part as we made our way to the aid station "Texaco Hill" This one was "manned' but crew didn't have access.  I believe I also started cramping already some on this run, and I was concentrating on not hurting. 

At Texaco hill, I started to include salt sticks in my aid station plan.  The rain seemed to stop on the way to Ridgeline, and you could see the beauty of the course.   Once I hit Ridgeline aka mile 36.5, it was once again raining, so I toweled off for a few seconds of dryness and went on my way.   The rain came down pretty hard on the next stretch, and my visor I was wearing was giving me issues.  The Visor has velcro on the back and it was too wet to stick and the wind was blowing it off.  So off came the visor.  I was running with another guy at this point.   We didn't talk much or exchange names but it was great to have someone to run next to while we both just concentrated on getting to the next aid station.  The rain once again stopped and I was ready to put on some dry clothes.  

Mile 42.5 would be the last manned station until the turn around.   I took 30 minutes to change and refuel.  Taking shoes off was a slow process.  My dad helped as bending legs wasn't that easy.   It was real great to be dry from head to toe.  I gave my visor to my mom as well and asked them if they could get that dry so i could wear it again.  They had about 3 hours before I would see them again. 


As I started to run again, I saw Scott- or he saw me, so we ran together again for a bit.  This time, I was hurting and this was alot of effort.  I think the problem was the 30 minute stop.  When you stop for long and have to restart it would just take awhile for me to get back into a rhythm.  Once I did, I also really just needed my music to get my mental game back.   Throughout this race, I had one song that would pull me together ...up until about mile 83 or 84.   Between the beat and the words, I related it to what I was doing.

 

Thank you Jay-Z, Rihanna & ES Posthumus got the Run This Town/ Posthumus Zone Medley.  If I had to push through pain, I'd put the song on.  If I had to get out of a negative zone in my head, I'd play the song, if i was on the verge of tears, I'd play the song.

On this stretch, we were counting all the people we saw already turned around and running back towards 'home'  Jen was in first place for women, with another two girls behind her about 15 minutes. 

2.5 miles from the turn around, there was one more water cooler stop and it was almost all down hill from there.  The views were amazing, and if those 2.5 miles were weak, I would have taken pictures, but I was getting back in my zone and I was feeling good, so I just had to go.   After a 30 minute stop earlier, I knew i wanted all my stops to be quicker from there on out.   I refueled and talked with the volunteer at the aid station some.  It turns out, It wasn't two girls behind Jen, as one of those girls was a pacer, and it meant I was in third for girls, which just blew me away!   Now that gave me some extra motivation to keep moving and not waste time, because I wanted to hold that for as long as possible!

Since I had about 2.5 miles of climbing, I took some chips with me and walked it and ate (only a few then carreid the rest).  I talked with a guy that had a speed walk plan for the rest of the race.  He told me, we would get it under 24 hours if we just walked at least a 17 minute mile the rest of the way.  Easy enough right?  This is where many are SO WRONG.  This many miles makes your body hurt in so many ways, and even a 20 minute mile hurts at one point and is a struggle.   I remember when I told Tony I'd do this with him.  I totally thought- 4mph walk pace is what I need to average to get under 24, that's easy!  Nope, Wrong.  But anyway, I didn't want to stick to this guys' plan, i still wanted to do my best and keep running, so that's what I did, still more running than walking.

As I headed to mile 57.4, I texted my mom telling her, I was in 3rd and didn't want to waste time at aid stations any more so please have ready for me- my water refill, an espresso shot and my headlamp.   Her response back was-  'we are just leaving hotel now, we dried your stuff.  Currently a tornado warning but should stay south of you.  Rain is coming down hard, how much time before you get to that aid station?'  Of course- I want my parents to be safe so I just told her to please take their time and if they can't get there in 30 minutes being safe, to just go to the next stop.  As I got into mile 57.4, the rain started pouring down again.   I couldn't see in front of me as it was coming down so hard so I had to walk the last few hundred feet to the tent.  The stop was still probably longer than i would have liked, and now I was wet again.  

As I was leaving that aid station, some guy ran out to me and gave me his hat (as my visor I'm pretty sure is now garbage).  I was so thankful for this because it keeps rain out of eyes and I like having something between my forehead and headlamp (otherwise you end up like tony, with a cut on your forehead).    Once again, that stop was a little too long and my feet and ankles were hurting me.  I then realized, my second pair of shoes weren't laced up the way I lace my long run shoes.  I had been using them on shorter runs, and so I like to make my ankles work a little more keeping the shoe laces laced in the 'normal' way not the 'provides extra support' way.  So, I stopped and re-laced my shoes, which made a world of a difference.   My phone was back with my parents charging, and I had my ipod.   I decided to put on one of my Akira Remixes, which turned this next 5 miles into a dance party.   The sun was setting, a cow came up to the path and with her head, she followed me as I passed her.  I then started to somehow pass a bunch of people.   I still felt okay- I mean, there was pain, but I was fighting through it.  San Francisco has made me good with hills, so as people were walking the ups, I was running them.  I'm not too sure how many I passed, but it was a good amount.  

Before I made it to the next aid station, it was pitch black.   I continued to sing to my Akira mix (yes out loud) I would also move my head side to side as I sang, and sometimes fist pump.  It really made me feel good to do this.  Trying to keep it fun.    This was the last planned aid station to see my parents.   I was getting cranky so though my dad offered to drop my mom at the hotel and stay with me through the night, I told him no.    At one point my mom also asked me to call her at my aid stations so she didn't worry- but I just remember saying- I'll call you when I am an hour away from the finish and you can come out here.  I changed socks and shoes to go back into my "favorite" pair- which were now dry- thanks to my parents. 

So, I went on my way.  This next stretch, I knew I was still in 3rd for girls, so I would sometimes look behind me for headlamps to see if anyone was catching up.   For the first 5 miles I put on another Akira mix, then I put on mixes made by Alison.  I started swearing a lot as it was dark (no moon even to help light the way)  and I wasn't doing a good job keeping a straight path so I kept up ending in the mud- slipping and sliding around.   My shoes would get heavy and dirty so I'd get angry and swear and yell.



It felt like it was taking forever to get to that 75 mile marker.  And finally, I was on the road that would take me there.  Jeremy was at that stop so he helped me with my drop bag.  As I talked to the volunteer here (the Race Director's wife), I was telling her how I was in 3rd and it was my first race, so I just wanted to keep with it.  She told me it was key to keep caffeine in me.   I did have a 5 hour energy in my pocket just in case it was needed, and made sure all Gus were caffeinated. 

I got to the 75 mile marker 16 hours 31 minutes and 16 seconds. 

I left and went on my way, but my brain was starting to become mush (oh and my lost voice from earlier in the week... it started to get scratchy again and I was coughing up a lot of sexy flem.  As I was running, headlamps were coming at me.   I noticed a TON of headlamps coming towards me and started to worry I was turned around and somehow I left the aid station and ran the wrong way.   I finally shouted (in my scratchy voice) to some guy-  hey, am I headed in the wrong direction?!?   And he said - no we are the 50 milers- don't worry keep going that way and I'll try to catch up to you and keep you company.

I was relieved and kept going the way I was headed.  I also thought-  keep moving so he has to work to catch up to me.   Then, my stomach....I realized... what gus in must gu out.  So I looked in front of me, nobody was coming, I looked behind me, nobody was coming, and this is where I had my first roadside stop.  It was not pretty but it allowed me to be able to run again...for a bit at least.  Now, with runs like this, part of what is in my drop bag- is a bag and paper towel...  for roadside emergencies.  You are not to litter so the baggy is to hold your TP until the next place to dispose of it.  The problem is, I only carried one on me at a time, so once I had one roadside stop, i needed to make it to another drop bag to replenish my TP Bag.  So now, I had about 4 miles from me and the next aid station so when my stomach started making noises again, I had to ignore and keep moving.

Two guys running the 50 miler slowed down for a bit and ran with me.  This was very helpful.  They didn't make me talk they just kept me company.  Or maybe I would start talking about my stomach issues and then we'd all go silent - lol.   Finally, I was at mile 83.1 with a porta potty and a drop bag.   This was the one and only aid station that I was disappointed in with the volunteers.  I had been running 83.1 miles!!!   All other stops- they ask for your bib number to record you made it thee- I'm shouting it out as I arrive to the stop, and nobody does anything and some people were just giving me looks (hmm I wonder why they didn't know that Tony made it to that station??)   
I am not that coherent so when I point to coke and say- can I have-  you can not just give me a blank stare and you can say yes (or better yet- you could have it already poured for me).    So I just took my gu and stuff and walked over to the porta potty, and did my thing and was on my way.



At this point, I decided I needed to take my focus off the run, so I first put "Run this town" on repeat for about 5 times, then I put on one of my spin mixes and decided I should try to lead a spin class in my head.   The success rate wasn't that great.  I mean it passed the time- somehow I was at the end of the 45 minute class, but I had no clue where I was and how much further I had to go until I would get to the next checkpoint/water cooler.  The class was over, and my ankles and feet were on fire.  My body was so over the bounce, and I started to cry.

There was nobody in front of me, there was nobody behind me, I was alone.   I tried to keep running again, but the moment a girl passed me, and I swore she was a 100 miler girl, I decided- enough- I'm walking- I'm no longer even 3rd and I can't keep running.   Scott said to just keep moving forward- no matter what-  so... It was slower than a snail, but I was moving forward.

I had been texting with Ben all day receiving the utmost encouragement from him, but he had gone to bed. Rachel A told me to call her in the night, but I had no cell reception.  This was a section that was rolling hills.  It hurt more to go down the hills than up.  Every time I would make it to the top I would hope for a light and that to be mile 87.3- the Battle Creek Aid station- but it was just never ending slowness.

I wondered why nobody was ever passing me though, and I also thought about stopping and waiting for someone to pass and maybe they would want company.   It was also getting cold and I was so hot when I left my parents, I didn't take any extra layers.  I didn't remember if I had more clothes at Battle Creek, but I hoped I did. 

The point where I started thinking "impossible"  was at 1:39am as I attempted to text Jen this but no service meant it didn't go through.  And at 2:15am I attempted to text both Ben and Jen "10 to go, and lost 3rd, walking it in"  Though neither of them got this because of no reception.



I finally made it to Battle Creek, which meant 8.2 miles to go.   I sat down here, which some say don't do.  I did it because they were making me hot chocolate and I wanted to stretch some.  My legs and ankles killed.  I needed those people there- they were positive and fun and happy and talking about others how this is the point that people struggle, one guy once actually was found laying on the course with rocks on him for warmth on the side taking a nap.  Having a tent blocking the wind, having hot chocolate, having light and people-  was really needed.   I told myself 8.2 to go- and went on my way (with a quick porta potty stop as well).  

I tried walking as fast as I could, and continue on.   This one guy passed me, but once again, there was nobody in front of me and nobody behind me.  I was alone.   I sang songs like "all by myself"  I cried more.  I talked to myself just saying- get this done and you can go to sleep- just get it done!!

Then, my stomach told me I needed another road side stop.  So... as I was crouching in a ditch, looking across a field, I swore I saw three twisters.   I stood up and just stared.  Sometimes lightning would light up the sky-  and I was certain- they couldn't be trees, they weren't buildings- they could only be twisters.





So, I ran - when I thought I couldn't anymore.   I wanted to be done, I wanted to be back to safety I wanted to not be killed in a tornado at mile 93.  I got my phone out, which I had reception again, so I put my mom on speaker phone.  She wanted to find out exactly where I was- but I was firm in asking her to turn on the weather and make sure there weren't tornado warnings around me.  She assured me I was fine, but I wasn't fully believing it (She told me tornado chasers were all around our course keeping watchful eyes out- whether or not it was specifically for the race, it made her and my dad feel better).  So i called Jen- who first yelled at me for calling her and then just started asking me questions.  She said no other girls have run in yet and told me I should hustle to get in under 24 hours.  I had passed the 95.3 water cooler as she and  I were on the phone, and it was 4:40am so I stood a chance at under 24 hours.    When I finally got to ask about tornadoes, she thought I asked about the coyotes, and she just said "don't worry they won't hurt you"  HA

I continued to try to run - even if just a minute at a time.   I knew I had two more turns coming up and I was getting frustrated as they never came.  Then finally- I saw two head lights- or things moving that I was sure were headlights.  The guys were limping and not moving much, but as I passed we turned one corner and they said it was less than a mile.   I continued to run/walk as I looked to check my time on my phone and I had a text from Jen.  It read "You have 23 minutes to go sub-24.  RUN!"  I cursed at this text.  I said outloud- do you think I haven't been trying?  Do you really think you can just say RUN and I'll do it?  I cursed at her under my breath a few times, and then, I ran.   The final turn put us on Pavement- which I hadn't been on since the day before.   Every step was on solid ground, so at this point I understood- my feet were completely numb. The final steps you had to go from road to grass to the finish line.   I knew I could tumble on the grass so I slowed down.  My parents got there just in time to see me cross the finish, and Jen is shouting "don't stop until you get to the finish"  (wasn't too sure if I wanted to punch or hug Jen for her tough love).  I crossed the finish and ended in my mom and dad's arms hugging them and trying not to cry.  When Jen said- "Guess what?  You are the 2nd girl to finish!!"    And the tears started to flow.  How could that be?   It turns out the 2nd place girl dropped out and it was a 50 miler that passed me. 






I finished what I can honestly say was the toughest thing both physically and mentally I have ever experienced.  Jen gave me a blanket and then informed me this is where we would be sitting to wait for Tony to come in.    Now- I love my dear friend Tony.  But, what i really wanted was to go back to the hotel and sleep or lay down or at least be some place warm.   Instead, I told my parents they could go home- but first i wanted to change clothes.   So, I stood up to walk to their car, my dad helping me, when, I got real light headed.   I decided I would sit for a bit first, have a can of coke, a thing of chocolate milk and ramen noodles.  I sent my parents home, and hung out with Jen.  The sun came up, and I managed to change clothes, then I went to the Tent to lay down as there was a heater in there-  I figured I'd be close to Tony as he finished and poke my head out as Jen saw him.   Then Jeremy arrived, so I decided I would go to his car and warm up there.    It was about 8am on Sunday, and Tony Finished and eventually we went back to the hotel. 

We had done it- with all the obstacles with the weather, it was a pretty good run.  Now I know why people don't finish, and how even though it seems like 4mph average should be simple to accomplish, how it isn't.

Thanks to all the support- on facebook and texts.  With such a great accomplishment, my 26th state is completed and though I'm swollen and hobbling-  my pride and heart feels great!



1 comment:

  1. Congrats, Tara! I can't tell you how much I enjoy reading of people running their first 100 and having to dig as deep as you did to finish. Thanks for the great report! Believe it or not it does get easier. It never gets easy but the first is always the toughest. Now you KNOW you can do it! Scott

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